Saul the, very first king of Israel (bar an unofficial one half way through the book of judges), was, God said, a man like no other. He was tall, a full head higher than anyone in Israel, he was good looking, and he was… courageous? I don’t think so. God had the most incredible job planned out for him, to be the one He had chosen to lead His people, and when it came to the coronation, where was he? Hiding behind some baggage. Good one, Saul.
Do you struggle to find a righteous brother/sister to engage in the holy practise of dating with? Are you always the one who sitteth on their lonesome on the back pew? Well fear not, and let ye not be filled with mighty dread, for the Christian pick-up lines are here to save thy bacon!
Seriously, these are hilarious. You can find the whole list here, but here are some of my favourites…
- I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.
- Is this the transfiguration? Because you are glowing.
- Hey… I would work 7 years for your sister… but I would work 7 more years for you.
- Hey good-looking, Ecclesiastes 4:11…
- Can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?
- Did I just have mud rubbed in my eyes?
- The Word says ‘give drink to the thirsty and feed the hungry’. So how about dinner?
- Solomon had 700 wives. You can be my 2nd girlfriend… But bring your friends.
- How would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?
- No, I don’t speak in to tongues. But I do kiss that way!
- Unfortunately, I cant perform miracles and I’ve only got enough bread and fish for 2 people.
- Lets say, hypothetically, you were married. I would gladly send your husband to the front line against the Amorites.
- If I had to choose between a romantic date with you or a night with the guys… I would sit at home and read my Bible.
- If we were around with Noah… then you, me… pair.
- I would leave 99 sheep to come and find you… and then I would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder.
- Have you died before? Because that looks like a resurrection body to me…
- Do you need prayer? Cos babe, I would gladly lay hands on you!
- I will never give you reason to hammer a tent peg through my skull.
Check them out!
Got Questions (link) is a site designed to help you work out the hard questions in the Bible. Clearly written articles and a massive collection of questions (168,180 at the time of writing) make this site brilliant. Whether you want to find out why God allows suffering, how we can recognize God’s voice or even whether or not God exists, this site is the place to turn.
You know lazy river rides? You’re floating down a gentle stream on your rubber ring, gliding blissfully along the water, without a care in the world. You move gently along, the waves tugging playfully at you, but you’re drifting so slowly that if you shut your eyes, you could imagine you were motionless. Sometimes you only realise how far you are away from where you started when you hit turbulence.
If this sounds similar, it’s probably because it’s pretty much an exact mirror of the Christian life! Either that or you’ve been to a water park recently. One of the two. But yeah, the whole idea of Christianity is to go against the flow, not just against the world, but against human nature itself. So one of Satan’s best tactics is to make it seem like we’re staying in the same place, or even moving forward, when we’re actually moving backward. If we don’t realise, we can end up with a lot of catching up to do!
But you can tell if you are moving away by keeping your eyes open, keeping them fixed on Jesus Christ, the author and perfector of our faith. Don’t let anything entice you to lay back and close your eyes. Keep praying, keep spending time with him, keep reading your Bible. Don’t take your eyes of the prize for a second. It’s well worth it in the end.
The other day God spoke to me. Not in an audible way but quite clearly, through the Bible. See, I was considering giving up piano, because, to be frank, A levels are hard, and what with grade 8 falling at the same time as my exams, it didn’t seem like a good idea, really. So I prayed about it, and asked God to show me something through the Bible. And he did.
Now that the testing has been sorted out (iBlogger is brilliant!) I think it’s time to properly introduce myself. Good evening, I’m Jonathan.
I am, at the time of writing, 17, going on 18 (spot the subtle musical reference), and am currently deciding on university courses. I’m looking to study Product Design Engineering, so that should be good. I’m into music, and can play piano and the bass (the slacker’s guitar!). As far as listening to music goes, I’m into tonnes of stuff, ranging from hip-hop to heavy metal. I’m especially getting into ‘electro pop’ at the moment, like the rogue traders, for example.
As the purpose of this site is to be a relatively entertaining God blog, I’ll give you the background to my christianity:
I became a Christian when I was reet young, only three. I remember sitting on the side of mum’s bed and asking Jesus to be my friend, and clearly, he said yes! I grew up learning about God from my parents, but also from church , which I had been to, as they say, from 9 months before I was born! I’ve never looked back, really. God’s helped me in loads of ways, through exams (God really can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine!) and other situations. At the moment it’s good to know that whatever happens with university, God’s got it covered. I decided to start up this blog, with Andrew’s help, not really to tell people about Jesus, but to encourage people who are already walking with him. So yeah, hopefully it lives up to my expectations!
All that’s left to be said, then, is thank you for perusing the humble site, and please tell your friends!
Odd how this post assumes readers…
Is this thing on? Just a quick few tests to see whether iBlogger works on my iPod. Here’s hoping! A formal intro will come later, rest assured!
The pictures seem to work, at least.
You can even use HTML directly!
Good good. Everything seems to work!
Now for the real Blog to begin…